Monthly Archives: June 2012

Help Wanted:

Systems Engineer Assistant Nuclear Technical Analyst.

Requirements: PhD in Nuclear Rocket Physics, with Hypercube Masters Concentration. Must have expert knowledge of the Hyper-Ultrasonic Lithotriptor.

Job Description: Assist Nuclear technicians on the design and implacement of advanced nanotechnological satelite schematics. The candidate must possess the ability to work 19 hours per day and subsist on fewer than 600 calories per day. Must be willing to travel to interplanetary asteroids and have the ability to survive in outer space with minimal protective gear. Ideal candidate would not require oxygen. Must have own jet-propulsion laboratory in order to complete the remaining 6 hours of work required per day. Must be ambidexturous and have the ability to stack golf balls. Laser eye implants a plus.  Minimum IQ of 158 required. Must possess the ability to function within the 4th dimension.

Ideal candidate must have exactly 147 months experience in related field. Also, left brained Aspberger’s patients given precedence. Blood type O- preferred.¬†

If you possess these qualifications, send resume to Uncle Bopper Panzer’s Clown College, attn “Drippy.”